Posted by Josh on April 06, 2002 at 01:51:41:
So tonight I went to go see a play and I think it was near where it happened. I don't remember exactly...I think I must be blocking that or chose to never remember it in the first place, but I was sorta near Melrose and Normandie/Vermont. So I had to sit through this play and couldn't get that out of my head. I should've stayed afterwards and said hi to an actor friend of mine, but I just bolted. Just about hit 2 cars on the way out of the parking lot just to get moving faster. On the way, the fact that I never dealt with the trial since I couldn't be there and then being in the place...it all is just washing over me right now and it's like being right back again...not to the place but to the time. I was telling myself that it might not even be the right area, but what I realized is that it doesn't really matter. If just THINKING that I'm in the same area can do this to me, then that's enough. I'd had little leaks now and then when I realized something needed to be dealt with but this one blindsided me.
I've recently started working on a screenplay for a short film about all this. I don't think I could ever make it, though. And if I did, nobody could ever see it. But the writing of it is a nice purge.
I hope everyone is doing as ok as possible. The mind is a powerful thing. I finished casting a show today and as soon as that burden was lifted, this finally let go.